We Are Family, I Got All My Sisters With Me

 

I am the oldest of five siblings with three brothers and one sister.  Today, all of us attended a memorial service for my sister's sister.

No, that isn't a riddle.  Or a joke. In June my sister's chosen sister of over fifty years passed away from stomach cancer. 

Their sisterhood began when they were ten and Lu moved to town. There weren't enough classroom books for each student so the teacher asked my sister to share hers, and a friendship was formed.  The two became three when another girl moved to town, and became a solid four when they hit middle school and a girl from the other side of town was in their class. Later, Lu's single mom rented my grandparents' home next door to ours and the sisters became inseparable.

Being seven years older than my sister, other than sharing a bedroom growing up, we had very little in common.  I had to set the table and dry the dishes every night while she played with her Fred Flintstone dinosaur and my Barbies. She was only in second grade when I started high school. I met my BFF soon after-a woman with no sisters and one pesky brother the same age as one of mine. I moved to NYC to attend fashion school about the same time she started cheering for Pop Warner football. She got her drivers license and I got my first apartment. We were two planets traveling around the same sun on different orbits.

That's not to say we were alienated from each other.  When I went out with First Love, his sister was that third member of the band of sisters, so we were usually in one of the two houses at the same time. The BFF and I chaperoned a party the girls had (but they were quite pissed that we didn't leave).  Again, the BFF and I took their 14 year old selves to Central Park to see a Beach Boys concert, where they were totally bored. When I married Wingman, she was my maid of honor and we spent my last night being single at a favorite bar where I bought her underage self drinks until the wee hours. 

My sister moved to Florida for college, and eventually started a new life there. Lu being single found it much easier to travel than Wingman and I with our deli and kids. We visited once right after we got married, once with when I was pregnant, and then not again until son #1 was at college spring training.  From the photos they shared today, Lu spent as much time in Florida in the winter as my sister did in NJ every summer. Being at one or another weekend baseball tournaments meant that I would be lucky if I saw her once or twice when she came up. It never seemed wrong-our lives just moved in different directions. 

It was early this spring that Lu started having stomach problems. Late spring she was diagnosed, and early summer, she passed.  In the meantime, my sister and her friends did what sisters do: they made meals, walked her dog, held her hand and tried to give her hope. 

Last night, I went out for steamers with the squad-a squad that now includes a woman who worked with Lu for over thirty years.  Stories started flying as they remembered the people, the places and the things that made their sister bond so special. Wingman use to be jealous that some of his friends had a bond like these women have, but I am eternally grateful that my sister found Lu and the squad, that they could be there for her before she passed, and will continue to be there for each other in the years to come.

My sister always said that she and Lu were like Thelma and Louise.  At the end of the movie, Thelma (Lu) says "Let's Keep Going" to which Louise (my sister) replies "Are you sure?" Lu was always the one to keep going, always up for an adventure, always with a smile on her face and will always be treasured by those that knew and loved her the most.