Back in catholic high school, we had a retreat where we watched a movie about a sweet young college girl. One day, the girl heard some jazz music, saw a clarinet player on stage in a bar, and the next thing you knew, the girl was drinking, smoking and doing some other clearly non-catholic things. Later in our all-girls class, the nun explained the movie to us by saying that the musician was Satan, the clarinet was a phallic symbol, and we would probably end up in Hell if we dated musicians. She stressed that drum sticks, guitar necks, and anything that could be squeezed, stroked or blown into was a phallic symbol and should be avoided at all costs.
I spent the better part of a week reading Webster's Dictionary trying to figure out what the heck a phallic symbol was. There was no spell-check back then so I concentrated my search on words that started with the letter "F" not "PH". And I was a little shocked when I finally found it. Let's face it, I doubt Scripps ever used that word in their National Spelling Bee.